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vershmallowpoof
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Name: Vera
Location: Canada
Birthday: 1/27/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: canucks, sing k, shop, nyanko, desserts, GREEN TEA ICE CREAM!
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/17/2004
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It's my first official day of "freedom" from term 1. It kinda sucks though because I don't feel relaxed at all....I already have two deadlines to meet for work projects for the new year....not to mention the whole slew of emails my group members are sending me for our NAIOP competition....sigh....
Anyways! It's nearing the end of the year and I head out for HK in a couple of days, so I thought now would be a good time to write a super long "reflections" entry.
2006 marks the year where I turned 21 and I really do feel I have somehow grown up during this period of time. I don't remember too much from January to March, just the same old school stuff....second year kinda knocked my confidence down a couple notches due to the pressure cooker 'commerce environment' but I think third year revived it just a tad...not a whole lot, but a bit.
It seems that second term of third year really brought my aspirations into perspective. I finally had a grasp on what I wanted to pursue as a career. I discovered I was genuinely interested in an industry and had something that I really wanted to work towards.
April came around and as it turned out, I successfully entered the internship program - I was pretty excited about this and had quite a lot of hope that everything would work out. Unfortunately, Intrawest screwed me over and I ended up having to work for my prof. A bit of an ego crusher, but I know that I really was just unlucky, nothing to do with my credentials or whatever. Working for my prof actually turned out much better than I expected, and because hours were flexible, I had a pretty well balanced summer (a bit more tipped towards 'fun' than 'work' but more on that later...hahahaha).
During this time something in my past came back to me and I thought it was an awesome thing. I think I let myself to swept away a bit too easily...I'm not sure what it was, maybe it was just the whole feeling that it gave me. A bit of me misses the past.....not that I'm totally unsatisfied with the way things are now, but it's just that things were just so much simpler before - I miss that, I really do. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that things really are different now. Times have changed. People have changed. Even I've changed. And there's nothing I can do about it. Even though I realize this, and accept it to some extent, I can't help the fact that it makes me really sad that I've lost things that I thought were important to me, and even sadder that I overestimated my own importance to others. It's alright though. It really is. People have to move on and I know I have. Contrary to everything I've said here, I've moved on - I'm not sure if that's the same as letting go, but either way, I am living and enjoying my life just fine.
I don't think I ever really had the chance to thank people who saw me through some rocky times this year, but I want to say it now. Thank you. I'm not sure if you realized it, but the fact that you came to look for me when I felt that I wasn't even worth a phone call meant a lot to me. It made me realize that I do have friends I can count on and that there are a lot of people in the world who DO care about me and that I have every reason to respect and love myself. I think it was because of that I was able to pick myself up the way I did. Despite everything, I had a very fulfilling summer - spent way too much money, I know - but it really was excellent therapy. If you guys weren't there for me, I don't think I would have started September as happy and confident as I did.
The first term of fourth year went quite well. I'm not sure why, but I really wanted to rebuild my confidence. I basically lost the very last sense of self I had left, but I knew that I wasn't the speck that I had made myself out to be. Fourth year is slightly sad because I know a lot of commies will be leaving me and graduating after next term - I'll really miss everyone. Even though three years doesn't seem like a lot, I'm going to miss my university days.
I feel like I'm babbling here....I know I've been kind of ambiguous, but it's a bit of a snapshot into my year. I know it sounded a little depressing, but it really wasn't. A rollercoaster, yes. But I guess I had to be slapped hard in the face before I realized I had the ability to fight back.
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Dinner convos can be so hilarious sometimes.
Random Tidbit #1 - In the middle of a deep conversation....
Me: Do you think I'm a good person?
Alex: [Pauses]. Yes.
Me: What? You paused.
Alex: Well, you haven't killed anyone! People who kill people are bad people. [Nods earnestly at his awesome analysis].
Me: [Stares at Alex for thirty seconds]. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Random Tidbit #2 - Meal is pretty much finished and Vera looks at Alex's barely touched dinner.
Me: [Points at Alex's half full bowls] You barely ate anything! What are you - a rabbit? Are you like, a LETTUCE or something?
Alex: [Nods]. Oh. I'd like to be a lettuce actually. A
cabbage. [Thinks thoughtfully to himself]. Yeah. I can be a
cabbage. Then I'd be a cabbage patch kid!
Me: Dot Dot Dot. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yes. We are fairly strange people.
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| How You Are In Love |  You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You give completely and unconditionally in relationships.
You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
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Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
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The classic question:
"If there was one thing about your past that you could change what would it be?"
The classic answer:
"I wouldn't change anything. Everything I've done has made me who I am today."
That answer is seriously generic. If I were to answer that
question honestly, I wouldn't even know where to start - I'd basically
be recounting my life. Clearly everything I've done has made me
who I am today but I can't say that I'm proud of what I've
become.....quite the opposite really....................
What I'd give to turn back time................
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